Starting Anew

I realize it's been devastatingly long since I last posted. SO much has happened over these past months that I don't even really know where to begin. Most things are not important and since this isn't a diary, a play by play of my months are not necessary.

So really the most important thing to state here is I am now gainfully employed! I lost my job and a month later I found something else and I have been working hard ever since. I enjoy my job. I'm a merchandise specialist inside of a major retail store and I am very busy. I wont get into all of the specifics because who really cares? I started this job knowing it was a part time position and I was completely satisfied with that. thats all i really need with my daughter in school and really having no one else to take care of her, i carry this weight on my own. her dad works and she is in his care 3 days a week so at least I am not COMPLETELY alone. because of this, i have been lucky. and also, i DOhave the most amazing boyfriend a woman could ask for and he gladly cares for my Riley if I need him to.

Shortly after I started this job, my boss came to me and asked me if I would be interested in taking the opening full time position which would include a promotion and more money. I would be doing her job alongside her in the neighboring area. I had to think long and hard about this. This job is VERY demanding and weighing how much money I would have started out with vs. how much time lost and money spent on daycare for my daughter, i had to turn it down. it would NOT be worth it. I dont know about you but I dont want to come home every night around 6 or 7 and have an hour with my kid before its time to bathe her and put her to bed. FUCK THAT. its not worth it to me to spend half my money paying someone else to take care of her when I could just be doing it myself. i enjoy time with my kid and shes like my little best friend. so i turned it down and im very glad i did. i ended up getting more hours in my current position anyways so im doing jusssttt fine.

ANYWAYS! i have so many blog ideas brewing in my head and i cant wait to delve into them. a list of my thought processes are as follows:
stupid people
resentment
family
growing up
holding a grudge
getting what you want
and a few other random shits.

I may even just start and post in the next few hours... or days... we shall see. For now, if youre still reading this and i havent lost you yet, thanks. i promise my posts wont be as mundane and boring as this all the time. and i also promise that im going to pour my heart out. im going to say how i feel and be damned if someone has a problem with it. im tired of censoring and worrying about everyone else. fuck that! ive been the only one taking care of me so i just gotta express me for me! i write for me. i appreciate you reading me but im not trying to impress you :)

hope to see you again soon