Today was a low day. I was irritable and mopey. I know my feelings in no way shape or form had anything to do with Black Friday so that assumption is out.
Today I felt lonely and sad. I dont know what it was but I was a sad grump and though I felt sad, i had little patience and I took it out on my daughter. I was unnecessarily short towards her and I shouted a few times. Jose noticed something was wrong and while he tried to ask me what was wrong, I didnt really feel like talking about it.
Sometimes I feel like I need more personal attention. More affection. More of whatever it is that makes a person really feel wanted and needed and cared for. But I cant imagine asking for that. I guess I feel like I shouldn't have to ask, maybe I just don't really deserve it or something.
I didn't really want to be alone tonight; In my apartment. I can't entirely explain why. I think I wanted the affection I feel has been put on the sidelines for the past quite a few days or more. I thought maybe for some reason, tonight would be different.
I'm watching television and I'm by myself and it kinda feels like crap. So I guess I'll close my eyes and just be alone and pretend I'm not bothered by it.
Hey, don't feel bad its nothing personal. We all have days like that. If every day was a party then the party would get boring too.
ReplyDeletei try to be very affectionate with people that I love. you just never know when they'll no longer be there... and I want to make sure they know how i feel about them. i hate those sad days!
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